Some days being a stay at home mom means feeling guilty about something about 99% of the time. I feel bad that the house is dirty or I feel bad that I’m cleaning the house instead of spending time with the kids. I feel bad for not bringing in any income while still paying off student loans. I feel bad for ignoring the pets. I feel bad I’m not a great cook. I can’t remember the last time I went grocery shopping and had a meal plan, seriously. I could go on and on. But I have decided to STOP. What’s the point of staying home with my kids if I’m not enjoying it and having fun! I’m going to stop feeling bad all the time and soak up this time with them because they are only little for a minute. I might spend a little more money on items that make my life easier while trying to manage a household of 4 people plus pets. Here are some things I have done differently since I’ve had two kids to help me end the mom guilt and make my long days a little easier. I hope there is something here you might want to try to make your day more efficient, too!
Remember before you had kids and your dog was your baby? Now your dog is….your dog. We absolutely love our pup, even more now that she is so amazing with the kids. The reality is she does not get the attention or the exercise she used to. Instead of feeling guilty every day about this we made the decision to have someone walk her when my husband is out of town. No more pathetic puppy eyes! Maybe you have a neighbor kid who wants to earn gas money, or you can go through a service such as Care.com or Rover.com.
Remember Your Spouse
My husband and I love to cook together. With two kids this is pretty much impossible. So a couple of nights per week we have Blue Apron dinners delivered. They send all the ingredients and we prepare the recipe together. First we feed the kids chicken nuggets and put them to bed. Then we have a date night! We talk to each other about things other than the kids and even finish our meal (sometimes) without interruption. Some day we will have big family meals and all eat the same thing and talk about current events like classy people. With two kids under three that is NOT happening in my house. Guess what? I’m not feeling bad about it anymore. I’m enjoying some quality time with my husband, trying new foods, and drinking wine. All of the wine.
When I feel like I’m being the cranky mom/wife it is so important to just step away for a minute. Maybe it’s a shower or a walk. Go for a drive (straight to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard). Read something that isn’t a board book. Whatever you need to do to snap out of it! For me a 30 minute walk is my therapy. I come back able to communicate like an adult again and enjoy my family time. It doesn’t happen every day, but I am learning that we all need mama to be happy…so get more “me time” and don’t feel bad about it!
Grocery shopping and meal planning has been my biggest challenge as a SAHM. I just can’t get it together! It’s not my thing and I’m okay with that now. I have discovered Amazon Prime Now and Costco online. They understand me. Do I probably pay a little more for the groceries since I tip the Amazon delivery person? Maybe. Do I care? Not anymore. Taking a baby and toddler to the grocery store alone has a high probability of germs, tantrums, poop, spilling food, crying, or all of the above. Answering the door and having my groceries handed to me has never been stressful.
I would love to know what’s your mom guilt about and how do you tackle it?