We’re all mad here

Here is a realistic picture of my morning. I didn’t fall asleep until after midnight. Sometime in the night my almost four year old (Superman) crawled into my bed, awake and requesting food. I wearily picked up my phone so that it would light up. 4:00 am. 4:00 AM!??? “No,” I replied. “You need to go back to bed.” Then I carried him back to his bed and spent another 10 minutes convincing him to go to sleep, just to give in and lay with him until he fell asleep. I returned to my bed to receive another wake up call from him around 6:00. He is cranky, he is tired, but can’t seem to understand why… hmmm.. I too am cranky and tired. But this morning is hubby’s day to sleep in and just as he always lets me sleep in no matter how little sleep he got that night, I do the same. That’s what ridiculous amounts of coffee are for, right?

At 6 I crawl back into Superman’s bed with the iPad and gear up some lego show he is crazy about and try to fall back asleep. Ah sweet bliss. The black-out curtains block out the morning light and the sound of lego chatter fades into dreaming. Before I am fully asleep I hear my 1.5 year old, Rogue. She calls for me, “mammaaaaa!”. I sigh. “Time to get up munchkin.” I tell Superman.

Frustrating as he is at sleeping he loves to help out. He leads the way into Rogue’s room, cutting on the light and cheerfully greeting his sister. Rogue starts a whirl wind of chatter explaining to us in her half-understood babble that she has her bear, her horsey and her bunny in her bed. I offer a half asleep “yey!” Before pulling her out of bed and changing her.

We wander into the kitchen where I give the kids choices for breakfast. Rogue gleefully requests cereal. Superman asks for pancakes. Hmmm…. I can muster up the energy for that. Besides I know I am going to be cranky this morning, maybe pancakes will make up for it. He is excited to help so we start the baking (from scratch which with more seep is a lot more fun, right about now I’m wondering why I don’t just buy the boxed kind). About half way through the process Superman has a sudden and urgent realization, “I don’t want pancakes, I want cereal!”

I look at him, then at the half made bowl of from-scratch pancakes before me. I take in a deep breath and start the most calm argument I can muster. I state over and over that no he can’t have cereal. he will have to eat pancakes like he picked. It’s a tough one for him to swallow and there are tears and I suggest that maybe he should just go back to bed. But eventually he forfeits and is happy with the prospect of pancakes again.

We eat pancakes as Rogue puts her buttery hands through her hair no matter how many times I firmly tell her “no”. Everyone refuses to eat their fruit and breakfast is interrupted for Superman to go poop. A very uneventful morning…. During all of this I am by no means mother of the year. I am a grump. I know it, they know it. Though they don’t seem to care. I finally decide to put on Netflix and take a little time to do something for me, catch up on this blog and finish my coffee. Which is only somewhat calming as Rogue insists on sitting next to me, narrating all she does and trying to climb on my lap while I type. “no, rogue. NO”. Superman wants me to help him build a castle. “When mommy is done writing sweetie!”. “You’re no done yet?” He responds as if it’s been hours.

The truth is while I don’t yell I am clenching my teeth and yelling profanities in my head on mornings like this…on the inside I am a bit of a lunatic.

A very sweet friend who just had a baby said to me “I don’t know how you do it with two.” The truth is, I don’t know either. Or maybe I don’t “do it” in any spectacular or even GOOD way. I just survive. I wake up and my goals are

  1. Feed the kids
  2. Keep them alive and in as few accidents as possible
  3. TRY not to lose my patience
  4. Try to have a little fun

So if you are feeling overwhelmed or like you are just the worst parent ever (I’m there just about every day) know you are in good company. We are all pretty sure we are screwing this up. But as long as everyone is smiling in the day and everyone is fed and safe you are doing just fine.

Hang in there! Emi xx

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